Authenticity

Do you ever feel as if you're wearing a mask? Perhaps you think that you have to act a certain way around your boss, or say certain things to your colleagues so that you'll be accepted. Instead of being yourself, you're playing a role to fit in, or to impress others.

Most of us have gone through times like this. Instead of behaving in a genuine way, we tell people what we think they want to hear, and act in ways that go against our true nature. In short, we're living inauthentically.

Living and working this way is tiring, dispiriting, and confining. It can also hold us back from reaching our true potential. The opposite of this is to live and work authentically. When we give ourselves permission to be ourselves, we can live free from others' ideas and expectations, and we can choose our own course in life. Let's examine authenticity in depth: what it is, what it entails, and how we can be more authentic in our own lives.

What Is Authenticity? It can seem that there are as many different definitions of authenticity as there are psychologists, philosophers, and scholars. However, a common definition is that being authentic is living your life according to your own values and goals, rather than those of other people.

Put simply, authenticity means you're true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you're under to act otherwise. You're honest with yourself and with others, and you take responsibility for your mistakes. Your values, ideals, and actions align. As a result, you come across as genuine, and you're willing to accept the consequences of being true to what you consider to be right.

Why Be Authentic? It isn't always easy to live authentically. At times, being true to what you know is right means that you go against the crowd. It may mean being unconventional, opening yourself up for the possibility of others hurting you, and taking the harder road.

On one hand, it does mean missing some opportunities – you do have to accept this. However, in the longer term, it's likely to open up many more opportunities; opportunities that simply wouldn't be available to someone who has been seen to be shifty, conflicted, or inauthentic.

Living an authentic life is also vastly more rewarding than hiding your true self. When you live authentically, you don't have to worry about what you said (or didn't say), how you acted, or whether you did the right thing. Living authentically means you can trust yourself and your motivations implicitly.

There are several other benefits of being authentic.

Trust and respect: When you're true to yourself, you not only trust the judgments and decisions that you make, but others trust you as well. They'll respect you for standing by your values and beliefs. Integrity: When you're authentic, you also have integrity. You don't hesitate to do the right thing, so you never have to second-guess yourself. Who you are, what you do, and what you believe in – all of these align perfectly. Ability to deal with problems: When you're honest with yourself and others, you have the strength and openness to deal with problems quickly, instead of procrastinating, or ignoring them altogether. Realizing potential: When you trust yourself and do what you know is right, you can realize your full potential in life. Instead of letting others dictate what's best for you, you take control of your life. Confidence and self-esteem: You can trust yourself to make the right decisions when you're being genuine and doing the right thing. In turn, this leads to higher self-confidence and self-esteem, greater optimism, and more life satisfaction. Less stress: How would you feel if, every day, you said what you meant, stayed true to yourself, and behaved accordingly? Imagine the happiness and self-respect you'd feel! Being authentic to yourself is far less stressful than being someone you are not.

Being Authentic in Different Roles

If you're like most people, you may have a number of different identities at work and in your personal life. For instance, you're a leader to your team, a co-worker or friend to your colleagues, a team member to your boss, and an expert to your clients.

Since you have several roles to play in life, do you have to act the same in each role, in order to be authentic?

It's an important question, especially since many of us seem to have seemingly conflicting "selves." Our personalities can't be fixed, so, we need to be flexible, and this flexibility can allow us to change and grow and realize new opportunities.

However, our true self remains the same no matter what situation we're in. Just because we have different roles to play doesn't mean that we have to wear different masks along the way.

How to Be Authentic

You won't find and develop your authentic self overnight. Rather, it's a lifelong process of discovery. Take the following steps to make a start:

• Live by your values

• Live with integrity

• Communicate honestly

• Don't make assumptions

• Develop self-confidence

• Manage your emotions

As stated earlier, being authentic may mean that you miss some short-term opportunities. After all, it's always tempting to sell your best points, and, maybe, exaggerate a bit to get those great-seeming opportunities.

In reality, there are times when this may pay off. However, other times you'll fall flat and destroy your reputation in the process. Either way, you're not setting yourself up for long-term happiness by doing this.

It's usually better to understand your own values and your own, genuine strengths, and then work hard to find opportunities where these values and strengths really matter for success.

That way you can be authentic, happy and successful, all at the same time.

Remember we were born to be real not perfect!